I have always had a special relationship with my Lord in Heaven. He has shared my joy, pain, suffering, love and tears. I have spent many daily hours speaking directly to him knowing he was listening to every word. Each conversation I had with God since I was a small child gave me peace. I have not ever just said a prayer, other than those I say at the dining table before a meal or the one I say on my knees at bedtime. My normal "prayers" are full on in detail conversations like those I have with my best friend, mainly because my best friend is God. I do not get down on my knees and beg for change or for God to make things better. In fact I actually say no payer at all other than the prayer commanded by my brother Jesus Christ which we all know as The Lords Prayer. Through this prayer I know my Lord will answer any questions I may have or address any need that needs addressing as he knows more about me than I know about myself. I have always adored the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father, it has been my rock in the hardest of times. Knowing he was there for me no matter what mistake I made kept me strong even in times where my strength felt like it was failing me.
My relationship with God and the fact I know he is there, that he is walking right beside me. That sometimes we even share the same shoes is why it makes it so hard to hear my husband tell me he thinks God does not love him and that there is no hope for him so difficult. How my husband could hear daily my love for my father and still not open his heart makes me hurt so much for him. How he could not see the light in our 3 year old's eyes when she hears the name Jesus Christ or the love in our 20 month old's heart when she crosses her hands for dinner prayer. I know in this world we are given challenges that can make believing difficult and my husband has had many of those challenges as have I. Some we have even weathered together. But I also know that God walks beside him, holding his hand tighter than he ever held mine and that God yearns for the day he opens his heart even the slightest. I know one day that time will come, I have seen tiny glimmers of hope time and time throughout the years. My husband just has yet to understand that HE is the one running from God, not Vice Versa. That God would welcome him with loving arms if he would only ask for God to wrap his arms around him just one time. The same goes for everyone. God loves each and every one of us equally and his arms are open constantly. BUT he would chose to save the one struggling to believe before he would save the believer. As believers and lovers of Christ we are already saved, saved by the grace of our brother Jesus Christ. It is the wanderers of the world that need Gods love the most. God is standing at the crossroads waiting for those who cannot seem to stop running from him to slow down long enough to hear God shout "I LOVE YOU". Long enough to realize that the day Jesus Christ died on that cross he died for all of us. God wants to tell you that you are saved just like I am saved. I beg of you my brothers and sisters, my amazing wonderful husband to walk with me, walk with God and accept his saving grace as he accepts you as you are. There is no love in this world greater than the love of our Father!
Your Sister in God